alien & sedition.
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
  Oh, for God's Sake

The cult of contrived masculinity just gets more surreal. Via the British blog Harry's Place, here's the Washington Post's report on one Pat Dollard, Hollywood crackpot and right-wing pseudo-warrior:
After his fourth wife left him because she got upset about his hobbies, which included cocaine and hookers, Hollywood agent/producer Pat Dollard decided to get his head together by flying to Iraq to hang out with Marines and fight insurgents and film a pro-war documentary that would make him "the Michael Moore of the right."

A few weeks later, he sent his Hollywood pals a photo of himself with a Mohawk haircut, a machine gun and the word DIE shaved into his chest hair. After that, things started to get weird.
Some like to say that a conservative is a liberal who got mugged. In this case, it appears that a conservative is a liberal who went insane:
The booze and dope fueled many crazy antics, and in the spring of 2004, cops handcuffed Dollard and carted him off to the psych unit of an L.A. hospital.

"Around this time he began his political conversion," [Vanity Fair writer Evan] Wright notes. "Somewhere between the Roman orgy and the mental ward he became a staunch supporter of George W. Bush's."
Dollard surfaced in Iraq, tagging along with a group of Marines and generally doing his part to screw up the war effort:
One day while the Marines were on patrol in a town called Musayyib, Dollard encountered an Iraqi selling whiskey. He bought three bottles, got crazy drunk and ripped a sign off a mosque, which angered the locals and sparked a gunfight. On another occasion, according to Dollard and several Marines, he walked into a pharmacy, showed the owner his gun and stole a cache of drugs, including liquid Valium, which he shared with some of the Marines.
See, I keep wanting to quote the crazy parts, but they're all crazy parts. You've got to read the whole thing. It continues to get weirder, and porn is involved. Meanwhile, let's cut to the inevitable:
[S]oon he was hanging out with Ann Coulter and appearing on Fox's "Hannity & Colmes," jabbering about Iraq and evil Hollywood liberals. [...]

In the last scene of the story, Dollard is being feted by conservatives at a Hollywood party, babbling about how the liberal media is "literally allied with the Islamic Fascist Imperialists." Meanwhile, Coulter is pigging out on guacamole and chips and questioning the manhood of conservatives who are insufficiently pro-war.
Again, I'm beginning to expect that the conservative movement has been taken over by a troupe of dadaist performance artists.

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